Sardar strikes again!!

Sardar declares:
.. . . I will never marry in my life &. . .
.. . . I'll give same advice to my children also. . . . .

SARDAR talking on cell.
2ND SARDAR: kis se baat kar raho ho.
1ST: biwi se.....
2ND: itne... pyar se....?
1ST: tumhari hai. . .

A donkey kicked a Sardar & ran away
Sardar ran to catch the donkey.
He saw a zebra & started beating it & said 'SALA Tracksuit pahan ke dhoka de raha hai'.

SLAM BOOK filled by Santa.
1.Strength:My wife,Jeeto.
2.Weakness:Banta's wife, Preeto.
3.Oppurtunity: When Banta is on tour.
4.Threat: When I am on tour

Sardar: Darling, years ago u had a figure like Coke bottle.
Jeeto: Yes darling I still do, only differnece is earlier it was 300ml now it's 1.5 ltr.

Santa went to Mysore palace.
Tourist guide - Santaji plz dont sit there, its Tipu sultan's chair
Santa - Oye dont worry yaar i'll get up when he comes.!!..

Sardar wanted to make a STD call to punjab,
He wanted to save money so what did he do?
Simple, he went to punjab and made a local call.

A Sardar enters shop shouts, Where is my free gift with this oil?
Shopkeeper: Iske Saath koi gift nahin hai bhai saab
Sardar : Oye ispe likha hai CHOLESTROL FREE.

One tourist from U.S.A. asked to Sardar: Any great man born in this village?
Sardar: No sir, only small babies!!!

Teacher: A for?
Sardar: Apple
Teacher: Jor se bolo?
Sardar: Jay mata di.

Sardar orders pizza.
Waiter: Sir shud i cut it into 4 pieces or into 8 pieces?
Sardar: 4 hi karde, 8 khaye nahi jayenge

A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell.
Santa doesn't turns up for four days.
Lady calls again.
Santa replies: I'm coming daily since 4 days, I press the bell but no one comes out

2 sardars were fighting after exam.
Sir: Y r u fighting?
1st Sardar: This fool left the answer sheet blank,
Sir: So what?
1st Sardar: Even i did the same thing, now teacher will think that we both copied.

Sardar 1: I'm very kanjoos, I went 2 honeymoon alone & saved 1/2 money.
Sardar 2: You r nothing I saved all my money, my friend was going & I sent my wife with him.

Nokia N93i launched in India

(To enlarge the images, click on them)

Nokia has launched the N93i, which has a digital camcorder and multimedia center to enable users to make short films on the device.




The Nokia N93i has advanced features like a 3.2 megapixel (2048 x 1536 pixels) camera with Carl Zeiss optics, 3x optical zoom, auto focus and close-up mode. It can shoot DVD-like quality videos in MPEG-4 VGA at up to 30 frames per second and allows stereo audio recording and digital stabilization. It comes with 1 GB MiniSD card which can capture up to 45 minutes of DVD-like quality video or up to 1250 high-quality photos.




With a metallic finish keypad and a mirror effect cover, the N93i has a 2.4" main display of up to 16 million colors with a 160° viewing angle and dedicated camera keys to capture images, switch shooting mode and operate the flash.




It also has a new personal video and photo blogging service called Vox, with privacy features that let share stories and thoughts over the Internet. Adobe Premiere Elements 3.0 software is bundled with it, which enables professional quality movies on a PC.




WLAN, 3G (WCDMA 2100 MHz), EDGE and GSM (900/1800/1900 MHz) networks are supported and the Nokia N93i provides mobile broadband internet access for browsing, uploading content, and sending and receiving emails. Other features include MP3 music playback, podcasts, stereo FM radio or mobile TV video streaming.




With direct TV out functionality, it is possible to have a communal screening of the film or photos, by connecting the Nokia N93i to a compatible TV with the supplied video-out connectivity cable. Users can also use the integrated wireless LAN (WLAN) technology to connect to a compatible UPnP (Universal Plug and Play) enabled device.

MRP of Nokia N93i is Rs. 35,750/-

Sardar Jokes

Santa asks: Who r u?

Wife: How dare u forget ur wife?
Santa: Nasha har gam ko bhula deta hai

Santa was busy in removing a wheel from auto.
Banta asks: Y r u removing a wheel from ur auto?
Santa: Can't u read 'Parking for two wheelers only'

Santa: Doctor, ye phulon ki mala kis ke liye?
Doctor: Ye mera pehla operation hai, success hua to mere liye, nahi to tumhare liye.

Santa: Doc saab, mein Chashma laga ke pad to sakoonga?
Doc: Haan, bilkul.
Santa: To phir theek hai doc saab varna Anpad aadmi ki zindagi bhi koi zindagi hai.

Santa: Raat film main ek chudail kabhi mere aage, khabhi mere peechhe ghoom rahi thi...
Jeeto: Koun si film thi ?
Santa: Apni shaadi ki movie thi !

Santa joined NASA. After one month the Americans had to change the name from NASA to SATYANASA

Santa apni girl friend ko I Luv U kehta hai aur gir jata hai.
Gal: Yeh kya kar rahe ho?
Santa: I'm falling in love.

Banta: Yeh chaaku kyon ubaal rahe ho?
Santa: Suicide karne ke liye
Banta: To phir ubalne kui kya zaroorat hai?
Santa: Kahin infection na ho jaaye

Santa: Today is Sunday & I wanna njoy, so I bought 3 movie tickets
Jeeto: Why 3?
Santa: For you and your parents

Museum Administrator: That's a 500-year-old statue u've broken.
Banta: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.

Lady Doc: Tum roz subah clinic ke bahar khade ho kar auraton ko kyon ghoorte ho?
Santa: Ji aap hi ne bahar likha hai: Auraton ko dekhne ka samay 9am-11am

A man to Santa: Aao ji chess khelein
Santa: Tu chal mein sports shoes pehen kar aaya.

At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I have lost my hand, oh!
Santa: Control yourself. Don't cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying?

In an interview,
Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
Santa: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr. ....
Inteviewer shouts: Stop it.
Santa: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup...

Santa was getting bitten by mosquitoes the whole night.
He got irritated...drank poison & said, Ab kaato saalon, sab maroge!

Captain of Military: Naujawanon aage bado
Santa aage nahin bada
Captain: Tum aage kyun nahin bade?
Santa: Apne kaha 9 jawanon aage bado, mein 10ve number pe tha

Banta: Yaar teri wife ki maut ka bara afsos hua, vaise hua kya tha?
Santa: Goli lagi thi mathe main.
Banta: Waheguru ji ka shukar kar ke aankh bach gayi.

Santa apni khoobsurat Bibi k saath car mein baitha. Driver ne sheesha set kiya.
Santa gusse mein bola, meri bibi ko dekhkta hai, piche baith, car mein chalaoonga!

Banta: U cheated me.
Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u.
Banta: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says This is all India Radio!

Sadhu: Bachcha teri biwi ko chuddail chipak gayee hai. Upaaye karvaao.
Banta: Upayaye? Baba, agar do behenein gale mil rahi hain to is mein harz hi kya hai ?

Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?
Santa: Tipu's skeleton.
Tourist: Whose that smaller skeleton next to it?
Santa: That was Tipu's skeleton when he was child

Napoleon: There is no such word as 'Impossible' in my dictionary.
Santa: To dictionary dekh kar kharidni thi ...!

Santa: Agar tumhe kuch ho gaya to mein Pagal ho jaaunga.
Jeeto: Doosri shaadi to nahin karogey?
Santa: Pagal ka kya hai, kuch bhi kar sakta hai

Banta: Yeh AUTOMATICALLY kya hota hai?
Santa: Oye tujhe yeh bhi nahin pata, Jab auto mein koi ganji ladki ja rahi ho to use kehte hain AUTO-ME-TAKLI

Santa was riding on a horse. He jumped the red light & a cop whistles.
Santa lifts the tail of horse & says: 'Le Karle Number Note'

Santa: Itne kam marks? Do thappad marne chahiye.
Pappu: Haan papa, chalo maine us saale master ka ghar bhi dekh rakha hai.

Santa dials a number. A girl receives the call.
Santa: Who r u?
Girl: Seeta here.
Santa: Maine to Chandigarh phone kiya tha, yeh to Ayodhya mil gaya

Santa went to battery shop n asked to change battery.
The shopkeeper asked: Exide laga du?
Santa: Dusri side tera baap lagayega kya?

Q: Why did Santa take his pregnant wife Jeeto to Pizza Hut?
A: Because they advertised: 'Free Delivery'

(Video) Card Magic - Nice Trick!!

Take All The Money Worries Off My Back

Fresh out of business school, the young man answered a want ad for an accountant. Now he was being interviewed by a highly agitated, arrogant little man who ran a small business that he had started from scratch.

"I need someone with an accounting degree," the man said. "But mainly, I'm looking for someone to do my worrying for me."

"How's that?" the would be accountant asked.

"I worry about a lot of things," the man said. "But I don't want to have to worry about money. Your job will be to take all the money worries off my back."

"I see," the accountant said. "And how much will my position pay?"

"I'll start you at eighty five thousand," responded the owner decisively.

"Eighty five thousand dollars!" the accountant exclaimed. "How can such a small business afford a sum like that?"

"That," the owner said, "is your first worry. Now get to work!"

(Video) The Number 23 --- Scary!!

The efficient undertaker

The widow takes a look at her dear departed one night before the funeral and, to her horror, finds that he's in his brown suit. She'd specifically said to the undertaker that she wanted him buried in his blue suit; she'd brought it especially for that occasion, and she was distressed that the mortician had left him in the same brown suit he'd been wearing when the lightning bolt hit him.

She demanded that the corpse be changed into the blue suit she'd brought especially for that purpose. The undertaker said, "But madam! It's only a minute or two until the funeral is scheduled to begin! We can't possibly take him out and get him changed in that amount of time.

The lady said, "Who's paying for this?" Seeing the logic to this argument, a very reluctant mortician wheeled the coffin out, but then wheeled it right back in a moment later. Miraculously, the corpse was in a blue suit.

After the ceremony, a well-satisfied widow complimented the undertaker on the smooth and speedy service. She especially wanted to know how he'd been able to get her husband into a blue suit so fast.

The funeral director said, "Oh, it was easy. It happened that there was another body in the back room and he was already dressed in a blue suit. All we had to do was switch heads!